Paper Face: NOTHING LEFT, NOTHING FORGOTTEN

There is nothing as blindingly heart-breaking and ultimately humbling as the death of someone you love. The unjustifiable sudden absence of your parents, your best friend or your boyfriend. In the press of pain you will finally see, perhaps for the first time, where meaning ends and where it begins. You will no longer be able to avoid seeing, perhaps for the first time, the storm of wasted moments you've brought upon yourself. And you will finally understand the inevitable unfolding tragedy of life. You will not care about the folds in your clothes, or the fall of hair around your face. What does it really matter? Now, as never before, you will dream about nothing but love. And there is nothing that you are not going to miss. The way they said your name, the songs they liked to sing, the shape of their fingernails. Nothing will fade. Instead, every small memory will bear down on your heart. A silent melody of pain to remind you that nothing lasts.

9 comments:

Christina McLaughlinMay 17, 2011 at 7:34 PM
Through pain comes strength. And vulnerability. We think we are alone in our pain and suffering, only to open up and realize we are stronger than we think, and that we are not alone.
NataliaMay 18, 2011 at 10:19 AM
I think this is the most tragic thing about life. None of us can prevent it. There is absolutely no option of holding on to the people we love.
Dani GirlMay 19, 2011 at 6:34 AM
This is absolutely one of my biggest fears. I have had my mom and many close realatives pass away when I was in my early 20's. This has brought fear into loving people in relationships. I have put up walls because I fear the pain of loving too much and losing them..whether they walk away by choice or by something they can't control.

I hope you don't mind I shared this on my blog, as a friend of mine sadly took his life on Monday. I share it for our friends to read.

Thank you for sharing.
NataliaMay 19, 2011 at 8:47 AM
Dani, I totally relate. Often when I'm in the middle of a beautiful moment with someone I love the thought shoots through my mind, "One day this person will be gone." Maybe it's morbid, but I think about mortality every day. My own and others. The anticipation of loss makes loving anyone inherently heartbreaking. But I think loneliness (the only alternative) is far worse. You need to let those walls down so you can build something better for yourself. It's all about reinforcing your life with love - it's like a fort against heartbreak. If you give love freely you'll have so many friends that love you to hold you up when the inevitable happens. If in your darkest moments you can focus on giving love and showing kindness, everything falls into place.

I'm so sorry about your friend's suicide. My warmest thoughts are with you, your friends and family.
Dani GirlMay 19, 2011 at 9:26 AM
So beautifully said. Thank you for your words.

You are right. The loneliness is far worse. It has taken me along time to realize to be in the moment..live for today as much as possible. Stop being worried about what may or may not happen orwhat may be the inevitable. Just enjoy now. :) Tomorrow is not promised..very cliche', but so true.
marthaAugust 20, 2011 at 8:06 AM
he's so talented !
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"There is nothing as blindingly heart-breaking and ultimately humbling as the death of someone you love."